I was going to place this in the police humour section until I realised that they are in fact all true.

 1. Never forget that your equipment is made by the lowest bidder.

2. If it’s a stupid idea and works, it isn’t stupid.

3. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.

4. Using blue lights will cause as many people to get into your way as get out of your way.
5. Something tried and tested is about to be changed.

6. Length of service is inversely proportional to amount of equipment and patience.

7. The person who complains they pay for a particular officer’s wages doesn’t realize they are getting value for money.

8. Professionals are predictable; it's the amateurs that are dangerous.

9. The bigger they are the harder they fall. And punch. And kick. And fight.

10. Never enter a public order situation with anyone braver than yourself.

11. Using CS is like dropping a grenade. It will affect you too.

12. Police Dogs have never been told they work for the police.

13. Speeding drivers are always good enough at driving but the number of deaths on roads being investigated are always higher the number of murders being investigated.

14. You will only call for armed response when they have already responded.

15. The more your equipment costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired and the harder it is to get parts for.

16. ‘On the Job’ experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

17. For every action, there is an equal and opposite complaint.

18. The one item you need is always in short supply.

19. In a domestic incident you very quickly become part of the family.

20. The first officer attending an armed incident usually isn’t.

21. Putting up tape ‘Police – Do not cross’ is like sending out personal invitations to dog walkers.

22. The child of the adult you’re talking is never ‘like that’.

23. Drink drivers have only ever had ‘one drink’.

24. Every piece of paperwork you fill out is just another piece that a criminal doesn’t.

25. Crime happens after your second mouthful.

26. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.

27. Unlike air support, crime happens at night, on weekends and in bad weather.

28. The tough part about being a supervising officer is that a constable doesn't know what they want, but they know for certain what they DON'T want.

29. The time you go onto another patch to help out is the time you’ll need to know where you are.

30. The newest and least experienced officer will usually win the Chief Constable’s Commendation.

Hya Folks

First posting for me, commendations? Tell me about it, they are given out like confetti nowadays for work that was once expected and taken for granted. The whole system has been devalued by senior officers exploiting often routine situations to their own end. I have experience of this and all my commendations now adorn the walls of my downstairs WC. What I do keep and cherish are thank you letters from the public (copies of course because the ‘job’ keeps originals), these are genuinely sent, gratefully received and well worth a read when things get on top of you.

Regards

Cpt D